The Cold Truth About Hot Summer Starts
You trained all year. You gave up sleepovers, birthday cake, and TikTok scrolls. You ran in the snow, hit the wall-ball until your neighbor threatened to call the HOA, and made sacrifices like a monk chasing a D1 dream. Your kid? Right there with you—mostly. You dragged them to winter clinics, private lessons, and even guilt-tripped them out of that one Fortnite tourney because “coach said attendance matters.”
Then, after all that work, it happens. First game of the summer lacrosse tournaments and your player looks like they’ve never held a stick. Balls bounce off their mesh like they’ve got trampoline pockets. Missed clears. Awkward passes. They look lost. And you’re pacing the sideline with an iced coffee that somehow tastes more like regret.
It wasn’t just one bad game either. It was the whole weekend. Game after game, your kid struggled to find their rhythm. No big comeback moment. No viral highlight to save the mood. Just a tournament full of “off.” And that’s what really stings—because you know they’re better than that.
At one point during game three, my kid looked at me mid-clear with a face that said, “Can we go home now?” I nodded. Not because I agreed — but because I was thinking the same damn thing.
The Disconnect Between Preparation and Performance
There’s nothing more soul-crushing than watching your kid flub through the game they were so ready for. It’s not that they forgot how to play. It’s not that you trained them wrong. It’s just—game one of a summer tournament is a perfect storm of nerves, speed, and pressure.
You trained for months in a controlled environment: calm drills, predictable scrimmages, a routine. But summer lacrosse tournaments? They’re chaos wrapped in turf burns and snack bar hot dogs. Game one is like jumping into a pool of sharks when you’ve been practicing in a kiddie pool with floaties.
And sometimes, that feeling doesn’t fade after one game. Sometimes, the whole weekend feels like a mental traffic jam. That’s normal too.
Why Everyone Sucks (A Little) in the First Tournament
1. The Pressure Cooker
This is the tournament you’ve both been talking about since February. You cleared the family calendar, booked a hotel with early check-in, and reminded Grandma a hundred times what field to go to. The build-up is real. Your kid isn’t just playing lacrosse—they’re performing under an emotional microscope. One bad play and suddenly they’re spiraling into existential dread while you’re biting your tongue not to yell, “Set your feet!”
2. Speed Shock
Practice is great, but it doesn’t prepare you for the warp speed of a live tournament. You can train all year, but until you’re chased by a 6-foot man-child who looks like he pays taxes and drives a truck, you don’t truly know game speed. That first game slaps you in the face. Hard. Your kid is slow to react, late on slides, and playing like they forgot what the crease is.
3. Overthinking Overload
All that training? Awesome. But now your kid is overthinking everything. Instead of reacting, they’re calculating. Instead of trusting their instincts, they’re second-guessing. You can see the gears turning from the sideline and it’s not inspiring—it’s exhausting.
4. Tournament Weirdness
Let’s not forget the X-factors. The game’s at 7:30 AM. Your kid ate a gas station granola bar and forgot their lucky socks. You’re late because Google Maps sent you to a field that no longer exists. The sun is already trying to kill you. Add in sleep deprivation and adrenaline? You’ve got the perfect storm of “meh.”
What Coaches Actually Notice
Here’s the kicker: coaches don’t care if your kid blows their first game. Seriously. They expect players to be rusty. What they want to see is the recovery. The grit. The bounce-back. If your kid has a rough opener but comes back like a gladiator in game two? That’s what sticks.
But even if they didn’t bounce back this time — even if it was just one big weekend-long slump — that doesn’t define them. Scouts and coaches know that one bad tournament does not erase a season of development. They know what matters is the arc — how your player evolves over the summer, not how they started it.
So while you’re panic-texting your spouse, “Should we switch club teams?!”, coaches are calmly watching who shakes it off and gets better. For more insights, check out Changing the Game Project’s guide to youth sports psychology.
Parents: Your Role Is Bigger Than You Think
Your kid isn’t just dealing with the pressure—they’re also feeling yours. You rearranged your life for this tournament. You invested time, money, emotional energy, and about $1,400 in gas and protein bars.
So yeah, it stings to see them struggle. But the best thing you can do? Chill. Seriously. Don’t overanalyze every play from the driver’s seat of your minivan. Don’t hit them with the “tough love” speech 30 seconds after the final whistle. Give it time. Let them feel their feels. Remind them this is part of the journey.
What NOT to Say After a Rough Tourney:
- “Well… that was embarrassing.”
- “Do you even want to play this sport?”
- “We just spent $600 for that?”
What TO Say:
- “Tough weekend. But I’m proud of how you handled it.”
- “Let’s bounce back and crush the next one.”
- “You’ve had off days before—and you always come back stronger.”
Need more sideline survival tips? Check out our Quick Post-Tourney Rebound Plan for Young Athletes.
How to Bounce Back Like a Boss
Your kid had a rough first tournament. Now what? Panic? Nah. Here’s how to help them reset, refocus, and get ready to dominate the next one. Because yes — there are more tournaments ahead. The season isn’t over. It’s just getting started.
Watch the Tape (But Don’t Obsess)
Film is a tool—not a torture device. Watch it together with popcorn, not judgment. Find two things to improve and two things they did right. Always end with something positive.
Rebuild the Routine
Back to basics. Hydrate. Sleep. Eat something that isn’t a bag of mini muffins from the tournament tent. Reset the body so the mind can follow.
Focus on Micro-Wins
Don’t tell your kid to “go dominate.” Tell them to win their first ground ball. Or clear cleanly. Or communicate loud. Stack small wins.
Laugh About It
Seriously. Crack jokes. “Remember when you dropped the ball four times in one possession? Iconic.” Make it human. Make it less heavy. Normalize the flops.
Talk About What’s Next
One tournament down. But what about next weekend? Or the one after? Focus forward. Give them something to work toward. It’s a long summer. You don’t win or lose it in June.
New weekend. New mindset. New fire. Let the rest of the summer see what the first one didn’t.
Looking for mental toughness strategies? Check out our guide on Mental Toughness Tips from Elite Youth Lacrosse Coaches.
Everyone’s Highlight Reel Has a Hidden Bloopers Folder
What you see on Instagram? The goals. The Gatorade showers. The highlight tape glory.
What you don’t see? The game where your kid tripped over their own feet, gave up six goals in ten minutes, and cried behind the porta-potty. And yet—those are the games that build champions.
Summer lacrosse tournaments are a test. Not just of skill, but of character. The great ones? They don’t peak in game one. They rise across the weekend. Or even better — across the whole damn summer.
Want to lighten the mood? Don’t miss Top 10 Sideline Meltdowns You Secretly Admired and Snack Like a Sideline Pro for a laugh and some survival fuel.
FAQ – Rough Start at a Summer Lacrosse Tournament
Q: Is it normal for my kid to bomb their first summer lacrosse game?
Absolutely. Happens all the time. The first game is often sloppy, rushed, and overhyped. It’s the second and third games that show who they really are.
Q: What if they didn’t play well in the whole tournament?
Also normal. Some weekends are just off. Don’t let one rough tourney cloud everything else. Help them learn and move forward.
Q: How can I help my kid mentally recover from a bad game?
Normalize the struggle. Don’t lecture. Don’t joke too soon. Just listen and remind them that all athletes have off-days.
Q: Should we change clubs if performance isn’t great?
No. One bad tournament doesn’t mean the training is wrong or the club is bad. Growth takes time.
Q: How do I know if my kid is taking it too hard?
If they shut down completely or show signs of high anxiety before games, talk to them. If it lingers, consider a sports therapist who specializes in youth athletes.
Q: Will this affect college recruiting?
Nope. Coaches want to see bounce-back ability more than a perfect stat sheet. Heart > Hype.
Final Word: Every player has a game—or a tournament—they’d like to erase from memory. But guess what? That game—the messy one—is the one that forges toughness. Let your kid fail. Let them learn. Let them laugh it off. And then? Watch them rise.
Summer lacrosse tournaments don’t define the player. But how your kid responds to them? That just might. And lucky for them, there’s still a full summer ahead to prove it.
